Haunted
by DisturbingVision
Summary: Follow up to Eternity. Based on a poem by Rachel Firmin I'm haunted by what could have been, what never was, and what exists only in my dreams.


**AN: So here's the follow up to Eternity. We see a few things that well, I'm not sure how I feel about this one, but I like it. Hope you enjoy it too.**

 **I'm haunted by what could have been, what never was, and what exists only in my dreams. - Rachel Firmin**

* * *

It had been a few weeks since they'd buried her. It was still so surreal to think she was gone. How one moment she's there and the next gone. The town was and would never be the same. David took over as sheriff but the look in his eyes tells Regina that it's too much. Too much pain to handle, too much to fill in for, just too much to wake up every day and know that she wasn't there. As for Snow, well any mother would mourn, for no parent should have to bury a child. She became bitter and cold for a time, only drawn out by her son Neal, who she knew Emma adored and wouldn't want her to be that way.

It was also taking a toll on her son, Henry, the boy had been through so much already. He lost his father, and now his mother. It would seem fate is a cruel mistress. The author hadn't been the same since her death. He even went on ranting about how he was the author and should be able to change fate with just a little ink and paper, but when he went to write her death away the story did not change. He blamed his mother and he also blamed Robin. Even going as far as yelling at the man in a way that much resembled Emma.

As for Regina she dwelled. She would come down, leaving her shared bed with Robin, to the living room every night, light a fire, drink a single glass of wine, and watch as the flames danced. In the silence she could almost imagine Emma was there beside her. But that's the thing isn't it? Emma was never silent, her presence always sang even she said nothing at all. It was that missing song Regina missed most.

She missed the way Emma could command a room, the way her red leather jacket smelled as they hugged, or how the sun shone off her golden locks, and the depth of her green eyes. She misses the soft touch of the woman she loved, but wonders how she can still feel the heartbeat of her savior on her hand where she once rested her palm over the woman's heart. It was like a phantom touch, as if Emma was truly there, but eventually the beating would stop and Regina would feel alone though her husband and sons lay sleeping just a floor above her.

Another week or two passed by, she couldn't tell anymore as time seemed to blend together, the town was going on as before even if it was with a little less skip in their step and a lot less smiles. But she noticed one morning as she was walking in front of the mirror getting dressed for the day how her stomach protruded just the tiniest bit and began to wonder. Placing her palm over her stomach she had to be sure. Calling her secretary Regina canceled all appointments that day before calling Whale and making her own appointment.

The white paper shook in her hands as she read the words. Pregnant. Two months to be exact. She and Robin hadn't even made love two months ago. It was then she knew that the child was Emma's. A product of their one and only night together. A product of the love they shared. She thought back to that day.

 _Regina's hand rested over the Savior's heart feeling it beat wildly under her fingertips, "I love you," the blonde whispered and Regina smiled kissing her, "Now how many kids do we want?"_

" _What?" the brunette pushes herself up to see the blonde smiling at her._

" _In a perfect world it would be us getting married in a week, but for now let's pretend."_

" _I can do that," she whispers back before cuddling back into the blonde._

" _So, how many?"_

" _Two more. I want two more." she feels Emma hold her closer and kiss her head._

" _Two sounds perfect," she laughs, "Twins, or just two spaced apart evenly?"_

" _It wouldn't matter as long as they were with you," she sighs sleepily before drifting off and feeling the blonde bring the blankets over them as they slept in one another's arms._

It was only when Whale came back did Regina know she was sobbing and hysterically calling for Emma. Emma should be there. Emma should have the right to their child, or children. She didn't care, as long as Emma came back. Whale tried to calm her, but to no avail. Seeing as how he didn't want to put any more stress on the pregnant woman he made the call to sedate her then promptly went to call her husband only to find he wasn't even on her emergency contacts. No, assigned under the contact was one Emma Swan and Katherine Nolan.

Kat arrived to pick Regina up promptly knowing the brunette detested hospitals and the like. Something to do with the smell being too clean. The car ride was silent for the most part, the mayor looking out the window seeing all the opportunities that could have been. She saw Emma and their children eating outside Granny's Diner, Emma teaching them to ride a bike as she chastised the blonde about safety, and so much more. But Emma was gone, Regina was with Robin, and pregnant with Emma's child. She didn't know what to do. How does one move on from such grief afflicting the heart wondering about 'what if's'?

They're sitting outside the mansion when Regina tells Kat she's pregnant. The blonde is quick to congratulate her and Robin. It's only with her silence does the blonde realize it's not his.

"It's Emma's isn't it?" is all she has to ask before the tears come once more. She holds her as she cries and her body spasms from the pain the brunette feels. When the woman had calmed enough to enter the mansion Kat follows behind wanting to put Regina to bed knowing the stress wouldn't be good for the child.

Once there the blonde tucks Regina in asking her if she wanted her to stay, but the brunette tells her to go. The tone she uses is tired and almost dead. Sighing Kat leaves, but not before telling her friend to call her later or if she needed anything. Not long after Kat left did Regina sleep, and in her sleep she dreamed.

" _Hey babe, time to get up," a kiss was planted on her forehead as she snuggled back into the pillows, "Seriously, babe, we have to get the twins ready to go."_

 _Popping an eye open Regina is shocked to see the woman of her dreams smiling down at her dressed in formal attire. A maroon button up tucked into black slacks finished off with a black tie and maroon suede converse. Seeing her here in the room brought tears to her eyes._

 _Seeing her lover and wife tearing up Emma cupped her cheek, "Babe, I know it's hard to see the kid graduate, but we have two more little Swan Spawn to rangle and take care of for the next fifteen years."_

 _Shaking her head in a negative Regina pushed up off the bed latching her arms around the blonde in a death grip, "I thought I'd lost you," she whispers._

 _Confused Emma pulls back. Taking her wife's hand in hers she places the olive toned hand over her heart, "You'll never lose me," she promises, "Can't you feel how it beats only for you and out children?"_

 _Staring at the hand over her love's heart Regina smiles, "You can't promise that."_

" _No, but I can promise that even if something does happen to me I'll always love you and somehow my heart will still beat for you. That way whenever you feel alone just know that pounding beneath your fingertips is me waiting for you because I could never leave you. Not really,"_

 _Looking into the eyes reminding her of grassy fields on a warm summer day the brunette kissed the blonde. She kissed her for all that she was worth even going as far as to pull her back on to the bed atop of her._

" _Regina," Emma's voice broke through even as the brunette was trying to remove layers of clothing, "Emma," she whispers back._

 _It's then that Emma pulls away, "Regina,"_

" _Yes Emma," all she wants to do is have the blonde but something is off about her voice._

" _Regina, it's time to wake up."_

" _No, no it's not," she cried holding onto Emma even as she and their surroundings disappeared._

Waking up to a darkened room Regina blinked her eyes to focus. Instead of the warm feeling of home came a cooler chill within her house as Robin sat beside her on the bed lovingly looking down on her, "I thought you weren't going to wake," he joked with a smile.

Knowing what she did Regina knew she had to tell him. She didn't love him, well not like she was meant to. And even now as she looked into her husband's eyes she could feel Emma's heartbeat beneath her fingertips, "Robin, we need to talk."

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 **AN: So what did you think? Were you as iffy as me? Let me know in the comments below or you know whatever.**


End file.
